Have a roommate from Hell? Want to get rid of them (please don't kill them) and get your own room? Well, prove that you can be just as difficult to live with:
1. Insist that you're a vegetarian and protest anytime they eat meat. Then leave beef jerky wrappers on the floor. If he/she asks about the wrappers, deny everything.
2. Label everything in the room with sticky notes. Explain that you need everything to be in its place
and organized. Re-arrange the furniture every Friday.
3. Everytime your roommate enters, look at your watch nervously and say "Wow. You're awfully early. You shouldn't be back yet...So when are you leaving?!"
4. Trash the room when your roommate is gone. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home. Act surprised and say "Oh no. They were back again, weren't they?"
5. One day, walk up to your roommate and kick him/her in the stomach and yell "You jerk!" and run away. A few hours later, buy him/her ice cream and say "Don't worry, I forgive you."
6. Set annoying wall-papers on your roommate's computer.
7. Research your roommate's life story. Write a full report and mail it to your roommate. Call it "How to Fail at Life."
8. Drink raw eggs every morning and explain that you're training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
9. Every Friday, pack up your stuff and say you're moving out. Come back and explain that no one was home so you're staying.
10. Wake up at 6 am every morning and yell "Help! Where am I?!!" and run around in circles. Then go back to sleep. When your roommate asks, say you have no idea what they're talking about.
11. Draw butts on everything: Your roomate's books/walls. Explain that it's your new obsession. Get a new obsession every week.
12. Buy a plant. Carry it around with you at all times. One day, have an argument with the plant. Throw out the plant but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss "that traitor" ever again.
13. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Everyday, turn the handle until the clown/joker pops out. Scream continuously for 10 minutes. Tell them you're training your vocal cords for your new death metal band.
14. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. Every time your roommate eats chicken, yell at
him/her for being a cannibal.
15. Buy a garden gnome and place it beside your bed. Get rid of it one day and accuse your roommate of stealing it.
16. Buy some knives and sharpen them every night while looking at your roommate and muttering "Soon, soon..."
17. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back, yell out "Don't
come in! I'm naked!" Make him/her wait half an hour. Then open the door to let your roommate in and take off all your clothes.
18. Place a giant picture of your roommate on the front door with the label "[insert roommate name here] lives here." Explain that you don't want your roommate to get lost or forget where they live.
19. Stick a hundred pens/pencils in a pickle. Keep it on the kitchen counter. Refuse to let your
roommate throw it out. Explain that it's "modern abstract art."
20. Fake a serious illlness for two weeks. Write out a Will leaving 2 cents for your roommate and insist they read it and understand all the fine print.
21. Live in the storage closet for 2 weeks. Then bring all your stuff back and say "Ok, your turn."
23. Keep a tarantula/snake/rat for 3 days. Then get rid of it and tell your roommate "He's got to be around here, somewhere."
24. Host a bowling tournament in your room every Friday. Give out your roommate's stuff as prizes.
When your roommate complains, say "Sorry, you can't enter. You need bowling shoes."
25. While your roommate is out, re-arrange all the furniture in his/her room. When they complain, explain you didn't enter their room and have no idea what they're talking about.
26. Buy a pet pig. If your roommate complains, hug the pig and tell him/her to respect their family.
27. Watch TV with the pig while eating lots of bacon.
28. Collect potatoes.
29. Paint faces on potatoes and name them. Name one after your roommate. One day, eat your roommate's potato and tell your roommate "I just wanted to put him out of his misery."
30. Live in a tent in your room. Tell your roommate to bring you food and water. Refuse to go outside and say "They're still out there."
31. Place a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it in fear. Every time you enter the room, open the door a crack and whisper "Hey, is it gone?!"
32. Throw darts at a picture of your roommate.
33. Call your roommate "Cart" by accident. Start doing this more often until you're calling your roommate "Cart" all the time. When your roommate gets angry, say "Sorry, Sam." Repeat this process with "Sam"
34. Accidentally break one of your roommate's pocessions. Apologize profusely and say "You're not going to kill me, are you?" Hire a bodyguard to guard you while you sleep.
35. Start sewing at night. One day, grab your thumb and yell "OWWW!!!" Cry for a few minutes and then go to bed. Make sure your roommate hears you sniffling and sobbing all night. Start sewing again the next night.
36. When your roommate comes in, pretend to be screaming profanities and cuss words into the phone. Then slam the phone down and say "Oh hi. That was your mom...she'll call you back."
37. When your roommate comes in, turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, yell loudly "She/he left! You guys can come out now!"
38. Start wearing a crown. Insist that your roommate call you "Your Highness", "Your Majesty", or "O Great One." Only respond to those names.
39. Beg your roommate to play chess with you. Let them make the first move. Sit and stare at the board for a few minutes. Stand up and yell "I forfeit!" Ask them to play chess with you again the next day.
40. Talk back to your cereal in the morning. Then suddenly, act offended. Throw the bowl of cereal across the room. Refuse to clean it up, saying "I want to watch them suffer!"
41. Change the locks on the door. Change the locks often. Refuse to let your roommate in unless they say the "secret password." Change the secret password often.
42. Place stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them and play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music and lights and go to bed.
43. Butter the floors every morning.
44. Order take-out food. Act confused when the delivery boy/girl arrives. Insist that your roommate ordered the food. Make your roommate pay.
45. Buy a hamster. Bring the hamster lots of food. Throw your roommate's stuff out the window. Say the hamster told you to do it.
46. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, say that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered the kitchen. Refuse to let your roommate into the kitchen. If your roommate accepts the duel, hide in the bathroom for hours and refuse to let your roommate enter.
47. Sign your roommate up for spam mail.
48. Start living in the bathroom. Refuse to let your roommate use it, because it's "your" room and they must respect your privacy.
49. Turn up the radio to loud classical music everyday.
50. Buy/adopt a black cat. Name it "the Chosen One." Let the cat sit on the couch and refuse to let your roommate sit. When your roommate complains, insist that "the Chosen One" not be disturbed
because it could alter the fate of mankind.
51. Let the cat sleep in your roommate's bed. When your roommate complains, say they have
offended "the Chosen One." Bring the cat back to the pet store and tell your roommate it left to "the Other world."
52. Hit your roommate on the head with rolled up magazines every 5 minutes. Say you're trying to hit the fly.
53. Label a jar "Dancing beans." Eat them and start dancing. The next day, label the jar of beans "Kill your roommate beans." Eat them.
54. Buy a lamp. Say that the lamp has a genie in it. Obnoxiously brag to your roommate about what you're going to wish for. At the end of the month, act disappointed that "the genie expired."
55. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch them. After 2 weeks, say that you can't take it anymore and insist on showing them the proper way to brush their teeth.
56. Decorate the place with pictures of you, everywhere.
57. Place a gigantic picture of William Shakespeare by the front door. Refuse to take it down, saying that it's your great great great great grandfather. Start speaking in old english for the next 3 weeks.
58. Read the phone book out loud when your roommate is sleeping.
59. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why, just say "Accidents happen."
Snicker.
60. Put up flyers around the building advertising your roommate as a Babysitter.
61. Buy a watermelon. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. Drop the watermelon out the window the next day. Accuse your roommate of driving the watermelon to suicide. Invite him/her to the funeral.
62. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say "Don't worry. It's not what you think."
63. Leave messages on your roommate's bed in blood red ink. Write messages such as "I know what you did last summer" and "I've got my eyes on you." Insist that you don't know how the messages got there.
64. Make cue cards of dialogue. Whenever your roommate talks, get out the cue cards and read from there.
65. Stare at your roommate from across the room with binoculars. Record notes and observations. Leave the notes beside your roommate's bed labelled as "My science experiment"
66. Watch "Psycho" everyday for a month.
67. Tell your roommate you just want to be "friends" and don't appreciate their advances. Insist that you know you're "irresistible", but they've got to try.
68. Hide alarm clocks all over your roommate's room. Set them to go off at 15 second intervals. Wake them up at 5 am using this method.
69. Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp. When your roommate says it will spoil, tell them "I know what I'm doing." Then empty the containers so it looks like you ate it. Pretend to be ill. Do this 2 times a week.
70. As soon as your roommate turns off the light at night, turn up famous opera music on the radio. Say it helps you sleep, and would your roommate rather have you stay up all night telling them your life story? Because you're prepared.
71. Drink lots of lemon juice everyday. Talk obnoxiously about how much you love lemon juice. Send your roommate cards expressing your love for lemon juice. Then one day, "discover" tomato juice. Repeat the process with tomato juice.
72. Start conversations with your roommate that begin with "Remember the good old days when we used to..." and make up stories involving you, your roommate and "Bob."
73. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Throw peanuts at your roomate, then say "Wow. These zoos aren't what they used to be."
74. Put a bandage on your forehead. Then next day, put a bandage on your nose. Add an extra bandage everyday. Refuse to discuss how you got hurt.
75. Make pancakes every morning and draw weird faces on them. Don't eat them. Throw them in your roommate's closet. Insist that you have no idea how they got there.
76. Put out a plate of cookies in the middle of the room. Tell your roommate they're for Santa. Eat one of the cookies at night. The next day, accuse your roommate of eating one of the cookies. If your roommate says Santa ate it, tell your roommate you don't believe in Santa. Throw the room apart looking for the cookie.
77. Write "I am a moron" on your roommate's stomach while they're sleeping. Say you have no
idea how it got there.
78. Whenever your roommate has guestsover, walk through the front door and loudly announce "I got that anti-itch cream you wanted. Extra large."
79. Write a cheesy romance novel with your roommate as the main character. Have the main character die a tragic death. Mail the story to your roommate and their friends/co workers.
80. Draw pictures of your roommate. Label them "Most Obnoxious Roommate on Earth." Put the picture on your roommate's door.
81. Put a sign on your door that says "Best Roommate on Earth."
82. Wrap a jar of pickles. Leave it on your roommate's bed with a note saying "From: You know who."
83. Eat everything in the fridge, including your roommate's food. Complain to your roommate and accuse them of eating your food.
84. Label all the food in the fridge as "Dangerous" or "Do Not Eat" or "Toxic Waste." Label one item as "Drink me." Lace this with laxatives.
85. Always start conversations with "Did you know..." and insert false outrageous info.
86. Shake your roommate and yell at them to wake up in the middle of the night. Say it's an emergency. When they finally wake up, calmly whisper "Do you have a highlighter I can borrow?"
87. Slide into your roommate's bed in the middle of the night. When they wake up, act extremely surprised and yell "How the hell did I get here?!"
88. Every time you have to sneeze, walk over to your roommate and sneeze in their face. Apologize.
89. Take pictures of your roommate during the day, make sure they don't see you. Send them the picture at night labelled as "I know what you did today."
90. Act completely normal for one day. When your roommate asks, say the doctor put you off your meds.
91. Have an intense make-out session with someone in front of the door. Purposely block the door. Ignore your roommate when they try to use the door.
92. Ask your roommate to play hide-n-seek with you. Tell your roommate to hide. Don't look for them. When they come back, say "Aw...I thought that would get rid of you, permanently."
93. Replace the salt with sugar.
94. Constantly ask your roommate their birth date. Say you suffer from short term memory loss.
95. Secretly take a photo of your roommate. Show them the photo later and convince them you saw this person on the street. Convince them it may be their long lost twin.
96. Every time your roommate coughs, excitedly say "Ooh, are you dying?"
97. Vacuum the place. Put all the dust in your roommate's room. Tell them "Looks like the dust devils are at it again."
98. Wear a Halloween mask every friday. Say it's a family tradition.
99. Hide one of your roommate's most prized possession. Write down obvious clues and lead them on a treasure hunt all over town. Place the possession in the most obvious spot later (inside the
fridge).
100. Place one of their belongings in jello. Leave it on the kitchen table with a note that says "Happy Breakfast!"
101. Give your roommate something they really want. Say "Happy Birthday!" even though it's not
their birthday. When your roommate gets excited, act embarrassed and apologize for accidentally getting the presents mixed up with Sheila's, who also has a birthday on the same day. Give them their real present (a jar of "magic" pickles)
102. Give your roommate a book called "How to Make Friends" or something similar. Tell them "When I saw this in the book store, I immediately thought of you."
103. Constantly ask your roommate "So, when are you leaving?"
104. Recommend that your roommate change the toothpaste they use. Say that in your past life, you were a dental expert.
105. When your roommate is brushing their teeth, burst into the bathroom and stop them. Act horrified and say "I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet this morning. I was going to tell you..."
106. Write down a plan to kill your roommate. Place it in a spot where your roommate can see it. When your roommate asks, say it's for your Creative Writing class.
107. Suddenly yell out "Die you fat evil pig!" from another room. When your roommate checks, say you have no idea what they're talking about. Repeat.
108. Constantly ask your roommate to join "the Dark Side." Bribe your roommate with things like "The dark side's got ice cream."
109. Whenever you walk into the room, look at your roommate and act disappointed "Oh, you're still
here?"
110. Ask your roommate what "Sticky Keys" are. Keep asking until they offer a reasonable explanation.
111. If yourroommate reads books, always rip out the last page. Make your roommate do chores
for you to get the last page back.
112. "Become" a psychic. Hold seances and read tarot cards for people. Offer to tell your roommate their future. Predict horrible gruesome deaths.
112. After completing all of the steps above, snicker at your roommate every time you see them until they get paranoid. They won't know what to expect.
Disclaimer: Almost guarantees a 98% chance your roommate will move out if all these steps are completed. Do at your own risk. We are not responsible for deaths/injuries/restraining orders/you getting sued etc.
1. Insist that you're a vegetarian and protest anytime they eat meat. Then leave beef jerky wrappers on the floor. If he/she asks about the wrappers, deny everything.
2. Label everything in the room with sticky notes. Explain that you need everything to be in its place
and organized. Re-arrange the furniture every Friday.
3. Everytime your roommate enters, look at your watch nervously and say "Wow. You're awfully early. You shouldn't be back yet...So when are you leaving?!"
4. Trash the room when your roommate is gone. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home. Act surprised and say "Oh no. They were back again, weren't they?"
5. One day, walk up to your roommate and kick him/her in the stomach and yell "You jerk!" and run away. A few hours later, buy him/her ice cream and say "Don't worry, I forgive you."
6. Set annoying wall-papers on your roommate's computer.
7. Research your roommate's life story. Write a full report and mail it to your roommate. Call it "How to Fail at Life."
8. Drink raw eggs every morning and explain that you're training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
9. Every Friday, pack up your stuff and say you're moving out. Come back and explain that no one was home so you're staying.
10. Wake up at 6 am every morning and yell "Help! Where am I?!!" and run around in circles. Then go back to sleep. When your roommate asks, say you have no idea what they're talking about.
11. Draw butts on everything: Your roomate's books/walls. Explain that it's your new obsession. Get a new obsession every week.
12. Buy a plant. Carry it around with you at all times. One day, have an argument with the plant. Throw out the plant but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss "that traitor" ever again.
13. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Everyday, turn the handle until the clown/joker pops out. Scream continuously for 10 minutes. Tell them you're training your vocal cords for your new death metal band.
14. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. Every time your roommate eats chicken, yell at
him/her for being a cannibal.
15. Buy a garden gnome and place it beside your bed. Get rid of it one day and accuse your roommate of stealing it.
16. Buy some knives and sharpen them every night while looking at your roommate and muttering "Soon, soon..."
17. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back, yell out "Don't
come in! I'm naked!" Make him/her wait half an hour. Then open the door to let your roommate in and take off all your clothes.
18. Place a giant picture of your roommate on the front door with the label "[insert roommate name here] lives here." Explain that you don't want your roommate to get lost or forget where they live.
19. Stick a hundred pens/pencils in a pickle. Keep it on the kitchen counter. Refuse to let your
roommate throw it out. Explain that it's "modern abstract art."
20. Fake a serious illlness for two weeks. Write out a Will leaving 2 cents for your roommate and insist they read it and understand all the fine print.
21. Live in the storage closet for 2 weeks. Then bring all your stuff back and say "Ok, your turn."
23. Keep a tarantula/snake/rat for 3 days. Then get rid of it and tell your roommate "He's got to be around here, somewhere."
24. Host a bowling tournament in your room every Friday. Give out your roommate's stuff as prizes.
When your roommate complains, say "Sorry, you can't enter. You need bowling shoes."
25. While your roommate is out, re-arrange all the furniture in his/her room. When they complain, explain you didn't enter their room and have no idea what they're talking about.
26. Buy a pet pig. If your roommate complains, hug the pig and tell him/her to respect their family.
27. Watch TV with the pig while eating lots of bacon.
28. Collect potatoes.
29. Paint faces on potatoes and name them. Name one after your roommate. One day, eat your roommate's potato and tell your roommate "I just wanted to put him out of his misery."
30. Live in a tent in your room. Tell your roommate to bring you food and water. Refuse to go outside and say "They're still out there."
31. Place a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it in fear. Every time you enter the room, open the door a crack and whisper "Hey, is it gone?!"
32. Throw darts at a picture of your roommate.
33. Call your roommate "Cart" by accident. Start doing this more often until you're calling your roommate "Cart" all the time. When your roommate gets angry, say "Sorry, Sam." Repeat this process with "Sam"
34. Accidentally break one of your roommate's pocessions. Apologize profusely and say "You're not going to kill me, are you?" Hire a bodyguard to guard you while you sleep.
35. Start sewing at night. One day, grab your thumb and yell "OWWW!!!" Cry for a few minutes and then go to bed. Make sure your roommate hears you sniffling and sobbing all night. Start sewing again the next night.
36. When your roommate comes in, pretend to be screaming profanities and cuss words into the phone. Then slam the phone down and say "Oh hi. That was your mom...she'll call you back."
37. When your roommate comes in, turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, yell loudly "She/he left! You guys can come out now!"
38. Start wearing a crown. Insist that your roommate call you "Your Highness", "Your Majesty", or "O Great One." Only respond to those names.
39. Beg your roommate to play chess with you. Let them make the first move. Sit and stare at the board for a few minutes. Stand up and yell "I forfeit!" Ask them to play chess with you again the next day.
40. Talk back to your cereal in the morning. Then suddenly, act offended. Throw the bowl of cereal across the room. Refuse to clean it up, saying "I want to watch them suffer!"
41. Change the locks on the door. Change the locks often. Refuse to let your roommate in unless they say the "secret password." Change the secret password often.
42. Place stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them and play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music and lights and go to bed.
43. Butter the floors every morning.
44. Order take-out food. Act confused when the delivery boy/girl arrives. Insist that your roommate ordered the food. Make your roommate pay.
45. Buy a hamster. Bring the hamster lots of food. Throw your roommate's stuff out the window. Say the hamster told you to do it.
46. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, say that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered the kitchen. Refuse to let your roommate into the kitchen. If your roommate accepts the duel, hide in the bathroom for hours and refuse to let your roommate enter.
47. Sign your roommate up for spam mail.
48. Start living in the bathroom. Refuse to let your roommate use it, because it's "your" room and they must respect your privacy.
49. Turn up the radio to loud classical music everyday.
50. Buy/adopt a black cat. Name it "the Chosen One." Let the cat sit on the couch and refuse to let your roommate sit. When your roommate complains, insist that "the Chosen One" not be disturbed
because it could alter the fate of mankind.
51. Let the cat sleep in your roommate's bed. When your roommate complains, say they have
offended "the Chosen One." Bring the cat back to the pet store and tell your roommate it left to "the Other world."
52. Hit your roommate on the head with rolled up magazines every 5 minutes. Say you're trying to hit the fly.
53. Label a jar "Dancing beans." Eat them and start dancing. The next day, label the jar of beans "Kill your roommate beans." Eat them.
54. Buy a lamp. Say that the lamp has a genie in it. Obnoxiously brag to your roommate about what you're going to wish for. At the end of the month, act disappointed that "the genie expired."
55. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch them. After 2 weeks, say that you can't take it anymore and insist on showing them the proper way to brush their teeth.
56. Decorate the place with pictures of you, everywhere.
57. Place a gigantic picture of William Shakespeare by the front door. Refuse to take it down, saying that it's your great great great great grandfather. Start speaking in old english for the next 3 weeks.
58. Read the phone book out loud when your roommate is sleeping.
59. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why, just say "Accidents happen."
Snicker.
60. Put up flyers around the building advertising your roommate as a Babysitter.
61. Buy a watermelon. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. Drop the watermelon out the window the next day. Accuse your roommate of driving the watermelon to suicide. Invite him/her to the funeral.
62. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say "Don't worry. It's not what you think."
63. Leave messages on your roommate's bed in blood red ink. Write messages such as "I know what you did last summer" and "I've got my eyes on you." Insist that you don't know how the messages got there.
64. Make cue cards of dialogue. Whenever your roommate talks, get out the cue cards and read from there.
65. Stare at your roommate from across the room with binoculars. Record notes and observations. Leave the notes beside your roommate's bed labelled as "My science experiment"
66. Watch "Psycho" everyday for a month.
67. Tell your roommate you just want to be "friends" and don't appreciate their advances. Insist that you know you're "irresistible", but they've got to try.
68. Hide alarm clocks all over your roommate's room. Set them to go off at 15 second intervals. Wake them up at 5 am using this method.
69. Buy frozen meals and leave them under a lamp. When your roommate says it will spoil, tell them "I know what I'm doing." Then empty the containers so it looks like you ate it. Pretend to be ill. Do this 2 times a week.
70. As soon as your roommate turns off the light at night, turn up famous opera music on the radio. Say it helps you sleep, and would your roommate rather have you stay up all night telling them your life story? Because you're prepared.
71. Drink lots of lemon juice everyday. Talk obnoxiously about how much you love lemon juice. Send your roommate cards expressing your love for lemon juice. Then one day, "discover" tomato juice. Repeat the process with tomato juice.
72. Start conversations with your roommate that begin with "Remember the good old days when we used to..." and make up stories involving you, your roommate and "Bob."
73. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Throw peanuts at your roomate, then say "Wow. These zoos aren't what they used to be."
74. Put a bandage on your forehead. Then next day, put a bandage on your nose. Add an extra bandage everyday. Refuse to discuss how you got hurt.
75. Make pancakes every morning and draw weird faces on them. Don't eat them. Throw them in your roommate's closet. Insist that you have no idea how they got there.
76. Put out a plate of cookies in the middle of the room. Tell your roommate they're for Santa. Eat one of the cookies at night. The next day, accuse your roommate of eating one of the cookies. If your roommate says Santa ate it, tell your roommate you don't believe in Santa. Throw the room apart looking for the cookie.
77. Write "I am a moron" on your roommate's stomach while they're sleeping. Say you have no
idea how it got there.
78. Whenever your roommate has guestsover, walk through the front door and loudly announce "I got that anti-itch cream you wanted. Extra large."
79. Write a cheesy romance novel with your roommate as the main character. Have the main character die a tragic death. Mail the story to your roommate and their friends/co workers.
80. Draw pictures of your roommate. Label them "Most Obnoxious Roommate on Earth." Put the picture on your roommate's door.
81. Put a sign on your door that says "Best Roommate on Earth."
82. Wrap a jar of pickles. Leave it on your roommate's bed with a note saying "From: You know who."
83. Eat everything in the fridge, including your roommate's food. Complain to your roommate and accuse them of eating your food.
84. Label all the food in the fridge as "Dangerous" or "Do Not Eat" or "Toxic Waste." Label one item as "Drink me." Lace this with laxatives.
85. Always start conversations with "Did you know..." and insert false outrageous info.
86. Shake your roommate and yell at them to wake up in the middle of the night. Say it's an emergency. When they finally wake up, calmly whisper "Do you have a highlighter I can borrow?"
87. Slide into your roommate's bed in the middle of the night. When they wake up, act extremely surprised and yell "How the hell did I get here?!"
88. Every time you have to sneeze, walk over to your roommate and sneeze in their face. Apologize.
89. Take pictures of your roommate during the day, make sure they don't see you. Send them the picture at night labelled as "I know what you did today."
90. Act completely normal for one day. When your roommate asks, say the doctor put you off your meds.
91. Have an intense make-out session with someone in front of the door. Purposely block the door. Ignore your roommate when they try to use the door.
92. Ask your roommate to play hide-n-seek with you. Tell your roommate to hide. Don't look for them. When they come back, say "Aw...I thought that would get rid of you, permanently."
93. Replace the salt with sugar.
94. Constantly ask your roommate their birth date. Say you suffer from short term memory loss.
95. Secretly take a photo of your roommate. Show them the photo later and convince them you saw this person on the street. Convince them it may be their long lost twin.
96. Every time your roommate coughs, excitedly say "Ooh, are you dying?"
97. Vacuum the place. Put all the dust in your roommate's room. Tell them "Looks like the dust devils are at it again."
98. Wear a Halloween mask every friday. Say it's a family tradition.
99. Hide one of your roommate's most prized possession. Write down obvious clues and lead them on a treasure hunt all over town. Place the possession in the most obvious spot later (inside the
fridge).
100. Place one of their belongings in jello. Leave it on the kitchen table with a note that says "Happy Breakfast!"
101. Give your roommate something they really want. Say "Happy Birthday!" even though it's not
their birthday. When your roommate gets excited, act embarrassed and apologize for accidentally getting the presents mixed up with Sheila's, who also has a birthday on the same day. Give them their real present (a jar of "magic" pickles)
102. Give your roommate a book called "How to Make Friends" or something similar. Tell them "When I saw this in the book store, I immediately thought of you."
103. Constantly ask your roommate "So, when are you leaving?"
104. Recommend that your roommate change the toothpaste they use. Say that in your past life, you were a dental expert.
105. When your roommate is brushing their teeth, burst into the bathroom and stop them. Act horrified and say "I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet this morning. I was going to tell you..."
106. Write down a plan to kill your roommate. Place it in a spot where your roommate can see it. When your roommate asks, say it's for your Creative Writing class.
107. Suddenly yell out "Die you fat evil pig!" from another room. When your roommate checks, say you have no idea what they're talking about. Repeat.
108. Constantly ask your roommate to join "the Dark Side." Bribe your roommate with things like "The dark side's got ice cream."
109. Whenever you walk into the room, look at your roommate and act disappointed "Oh, you're still
here?"
110. Ask your roommate what "Sticky Keys" are. Keep asking until they offer a reasonable explanation.
111. If yourroommate reads books, always rip out the last page. Make your roommate do chores
for you to get the last page back.
112. "Become" a psychic. Hold seances and read tarot cards for people. Offer to tell your roommate their future. Predict horrible gruesome deaths.
112. After completing all of the steps above, snicker at your roommate every time you see them until they get paranoid. They won't know what to expect.
Disclaimer: Almost guarantees a 98% chance your roommate will move out if all these steps are completed. Do at your own risk. We are not responsible for deaths/injuries/restraining orders/you getting sued etc.
RSS Feed